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Three years ago, I met cousins Robert (8)* and Phillip (5)* while participating in the Juntos tutoring program.  Robert and Phillip had a special relationship, relying on each other for support and encouragement.  Over the course of time, I would learn why. 

During the “get-acquainted” portion of the program, Robert told me that he lived with his mom and some men whose names he didn't know.  At this time, Robert was very much on edge and obviously nervous about almost everything.  My heart broke for him.

Over the next several months, during weekly study-halls, I found that simply keeping Robert's focus on anything nondestructive was a success.  He was constantly acting up, misbehaving, and being destructive. Eventually, I learned that both boys were routinely pulled out of their home in the middle of the night by child protective services.  Yet, I would see them the next day and they would act as if nothing had happened.  One foster family told me how the boys would sleep with the lights on, their dog at their sides, their lives filled with fear and uncertainty.

But my time with them was special.  I would play ball with them, read to them, and help out with Phillip’s art interests.  Tutoring of school subjects became secondary to building a trusting, healthy relationship.  In reality, I may have been the only adult male they knew who treated them with respect, love, and encouragement.

Eventually, we began to discuss things of significance: like what they might do with their lives and how to deal with hard times, like when an older school friend was killed on the street.  The weight of the issues these children deal with is staggering!  Robert, though, still had challenges.  He was kicked out of one school for fighting.  Still, I always tried to let them know they were loved. 

It was often with the simplest gestures that real relationship was formed. When I brought his favorite pineapple-and-bacon pizza to our meeting, Phillip was amazed that I had listened to what he told me.

Fast forward three years.  Robert and Phillip are still involved with Juntos.  There have been some improvements in their family life, but times are still tough.  After a recent meeting, though, I reflected on the remarkable transformation in their lives.  Robert is more controlled, shows less anger, and seems like a genuinely happy soul.  Phillip, always a smiler, now has a focus to his activities and is excited to be learning and growing.  I believe the love and care these boys received at Juntos changed the paths of their lives.  They still have hard times ahead (as do we all), but they can take heart in the promise of Jesus: that through Him we can overcome this world.

How can you be part of this miracle-making program?   You can volunteer your time and show a child he or she really is loved.   And, after 12 years of stories like this, Juntos is finally able to work toward purchasing a permanent facility in the target neighborhood!  With suitable buildings becoming available, the funding needs are significant, but certainly achievable.  A new facility negates costly van transportation and increases access.  Click here to donate to the building fund.

(Individual photo taken by Jasmine Mostrom)

The first time I met Amy she was blowing a large stream of bubbles through a sawed-off water bottle, one of the many creative uses for discarded items you learn at Juntos.  As the stream grew we talked about her growing up and what she wants to do with her life.  Julie is 10 and her answer shocked me.  “I want to be like my friend’s mom”, she said, “She gets paid for playing video games all day.”  Now she had my attention.  If Amy had really figured out a way to get paid for gaming all day I wanted in.

It turns out her friend’s Mom, like many others in Amy’s circle of influence, is on public assistance.  It’s not that she gets paid for gaming; it’s that she gets paid because she isn’t working. So this is Amy’s aspiration: to chill at home, playing video games.  I was glad for the chance to tell Amy that God made her for something more.  That the gospel tells us that God made us to flourish, to thrive.

The Bible also tells us, as Christians, what we need to do with the gospel. When Jesus told us to go with the gospel, He said go local, go regional and go to the ends of the earth (Mark 16:15).  It’s not a multiple choice; it’s a mandate to take the gospel to Amy and to others in the nearest and farthest regions who don’t yet know that they have been made to thrive.

It’s a privilege to go local with the gospel and to hang out with Amy and others like her at Juntos.  There is a certainty in my faith that I’ve gained from seeing God at work in Juntos. To see people like Manny, who grew up in Juntos and has now graduated from UNM, works fulltime and is a leader at Juntos, thrive!  To hear stories like Danny’s, a dad with two kids in Juntos, who teaches on Monday nights. His story about how God takes our brokenness and makes us flourish is one of the most inspirational I’ve heard. What a blessing to learn people’s stories, to see how God has transformed their lives and how he uses people just like you and I to do it. I’m so glad for the gospel and for a place like Juntos to see it grow.  For me, it takes God’s kingdom out of the abstract and shines the light on its reality here and now. 

I just know that Amy, and other Juntos kids, are going to make a difference in their neighborhoods.  Someday a kid is going to say, “I want to be like Amy, she is thriving.” If it weren’t for Juntos I might miss it.

Click here to learn more about Juntos and how you can support this ministry.

Solitude is essential. Undoubtedly, it is only the enemy and our flesh that conspire to keep us too busy. It is in quietness (Ps. 46:10) that we can listen to our good Father tell us that we are His beloved children and begin to open our eyes to the height and breadth and depth of His great love for us (Ephesian 3: 16-19) and to the hope we have in Him (Ephesians 1:18-23). This message from our Creator God is the opposite of the messages we are bombarded with every day from the world: the media, our flesh, our competitive neighbor’s, and too often, ourselves. These voices, messages, and lies say we are pretty much useless, no good, guilty, unlikable, not as strong as ____, not as organized as ____, not as beautiful as____, or not as smart as____. You can fill in the blank and even the struggle; we all have something the enemy uses to wear us down if we let him. God's Word tells us something very different, if only we take the time, if only we make the time, to listen!

In Luke 21, God calls us to “keep ourselves in the love of God as we wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring us to eternal life.” Waiting seems easy, but it’s not and “keeping in the love of God” isn’t either! This keeping requires some effort and choices on our part. We must commit time each day to examine who is on the throne; is it God or….You? Your children? Your husband? Your hobby? Your busy-ness, Your plans for retirement or vacation? Your future education and training? Money? There are so many worldly things calling us away from God, but God Himself is calling us to keep ourselves in His love.

God does not demand this, instead, He wants us to seek Him (Deuteronomy 4: 29-30, Revelation 3: 19-20) with all of our heart. In the end, it’s about your heart, your first love, and your priorities (Revelations 2: 4-6, Mathew 22: 37-38)

Remember Susanna Wesley, the mother of 17 children, to include John Wesley. She found her “solitude” communing with her Savior, sitting with her apron pulled up over her head! How do you make time for your Savior? Wherever you are, however you commune with God you can be sure he will meet you there!

In the end, the transformation is a process, empowered by the Holy Spirit, but for our part it is not, it cannot be passive. We must plan for solitude, listening to God’s Spirit speak through His Word, leading us to walk in the Light (I John 1:7), ready to see, ready to repent and “to put off the old person and put on the new” (Col 3:9-10, Ephesians 4:20-25).

How do you make space for God? And if you aren’t already, then how will you?

The Gray Family: Jake, a paramedic/firefighter, and I, a Suzuki violin instructor, have been married for thirteen years and part of the East Mountain community since childhood. We currently have three children at home (ages 10, 9,and 7) and are in the process of adopting a one-year-old little boy from India. Jake and I enjoy using an eclectic approach in educating our children, who attend an online charter school and select classes at a local private school. Ultimately, our goal is to raise children who love the Lord and love people.

We look back at our own upbringing for clues as to how we might raise our children well. Or, in some cases, how we will do things differently. Jake was raised in a Christian home; I was not. Even with this significant difference. Our childhoods share a pervasive theme, though: loneliness. Relational conflicts weren’t resolved. Friends and churches were set aside repeatedly.

How can we grow from the experience? As a family, we purposefully seek to build relationships with believers and non-believers. We commit to being part of a church family. We cannot dispose of relationships. Our flesh will get uncomfortable at times, but we repeat the Gray Family Mantra:

“Relationships are hard work. Relationships are worth the effort.”

We hold close these scriptures:

Mark 12:30-31

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Proverbs 18:24

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly…

Ephesians 4

³ Endeavour to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

¹⁵ Speak the truth in love…

Colossians 3:13

Bear with one another, and forgive one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

And we ask the Holy Spirit to help us handle relationships in a way that we cannot on our own.  

When my son and daughter speak rudely to each other, we challenge them:

“You saw other siblings act that way and were appalled! Do you know you are doing the same? Do you know that you are being selfish? Take a moment. Ask God to help you behave as He would, then apologize and try again.”

When the neighbor kid across the street wants to play, but makes up stories that aren’t true, our children say, “Ugh. I can’t BELIEVE what a liar she is! I can’t stand her!”

Our response is:

“Lying is wrong and it’s frustrating to be lied to. She needs Jesus just like us, doesn’t she? Let’s have her over for a short and pleasant visit. Try not to take her stories too seriously, look for things to appreciate about her, and let’s ask God for opportunities to share His love with her.”

When we are in a new crowd and our daughter thinks no one is being friendly, we encourage her:

Our response is:

“Look around. Is there anyone else who is feeling left out? Can you show yourself friendly? Act toward her the way you want someone to act toward you.”

Relationships are hard, but God will use them to grow each of us. How are you teaching, encouraging and challenging your children to grow through life experiences?

(photos by Jasmine Mostrom)

So glad you joined us for this Part Two of The Sticky Life as MCC member Ashley Procter shares her family’s perspective on living out the sticky life. Part One was posted yesterday and you can find it in our previous post! 

Pastor Jonathan Parnell states that a disciple of Jesus Christ is a worshiper, a servant, and a witness.  On Day 1, we discussed a few ways we live as worshipers with our kids as we attend public school.  Here are some ways we live the sticky life…the one that clings to Jesus…as servants and witnesses.

A servant puts on a towel and washes feet.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” – Philippians 2:3-4

Public school is a great place to highlight contrast between the ways of the world and the ways of Jesus.  “Every man for himself” is the typical modus operandi you’ll find there (and I find in myself).

Jesus’ m.o. is far different.  Pastor Jonathan Parnell says to Christians, “Go low in acts of love, even when it’s an inconvenience to yourself.”  Go low.

• We play with our kids on the playground, and we invite the ones that seem isolated. It’s fun and it builds compassion and connections.

• We have the kids who aren’t so much like us over for play dates. We attend their birthday parties.  We make friends with their parents. Jesus died for them…they’re worth our willingness to bend.

• We pray for ways to serve the kids who are less than nice to us. We step out in obedience when the opportunity arises.  We pray together that God will cause us to believe that His ways are better than ours.

• We show up when kids, parents, or teachers are hurting or in need, whether they’re Christians or not.

A witness serves as evidence of the truth of God.

“But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place.” – 2 Corinthians 2:14

As Christians, we are imperfect people being transformed into the image of Christ. Our inner man is being renewed day by day through Him.  Every day that we spend growing in Him, we fit in less in the world.  We stand out more.  It is this standing out…this being set apart…that manifests the truth to the outside world.

So…

• We confess and apologize when we hurt others. I spoke poorly about a teacher behind her back.  It was wrong of me to do.  The Lord allowed the opportunity to confess, which I did, and then had the privilege of sharing the gospel with her.

• We make the kids accountable to God, as we are.  We can’t see their hearts; and even if we could, we don’t have the power to change them. The Lord is able to reach them Himself, as well as make us aware of when there’s a problem we need to address.  Andy made a mistake that cost another child a good grade.  He tried to just let it ride, but the Holy Spirit wouldn’t let him go.  He confessed and worked with the teacher to help the student get the grade he deserved.  We didn’t have to say a word.

• We make deliberate choices to be separate.

• We pray for those who are hurting, and we tell them that we’re doing so.

• We speak up. When the Big Bang theory is taught in class, we discuss facts with cool heads. We’ve been doing so together as a family since Andy was 3.  The fact that people believe differently than we do is not a shock to the kids, and their faith is not threatened by science….it’s enhanced by it.

• We discuss worldview. We speak with compassion because Jesus loves these people. We squash any notion of superiority, reminding the kids that we do not deserve to know Jesus.  We have not earned His favor, His salvation, His hope.  He has given it as a gift. 

• We go out to tell the world. We pray for opportunities to speak of the saving power of Christ at school, and He has brought them.  We fumble, we mis-speak, we mess it up all the time.  But through our participation in school, we have built relationships that have opened doors to speak about our faith.

Though we may fumble with the words, though we model it imperfectly, our friends and acquaintances at school have experienced our faith just by hanging out with us. If they’ve hung out long enough, they’ve even seen us change, as Jesus is constantly transforming us from glory to glory.  What a privilege it is to live the sticky life!

How does your family live the sticky life?

(photos by Jasmine Mostrom)