Blog

Valentine’s Day has passed. Maybe it was everything you hoped for, or a lot less than you imagined. Maybe your marriage is dynamic and everything is going great, or maybe your stuck in a bit of a rut and wondering how in the world that happened? Either way, I want to share some ideas on how your marriage relationship, and you personally, can grow and thrive in Christ.

Ruts are a result of erosion, a natural and dynamic process, yes, but destructive rather than constructive. If your marriage is in a rut, perhaps you are not deliberately protecting it.

The thing about a rut is that you can accidently fall or drive into one simply by not paying attention…but rarely will you accidently get out of one. It takes deliberate and focused effort.

Whether driving, or thriving in your marriage, the main issue is to actively pay attention, close attention so you can stay out of the rut. Make your marriage a priority, stay focused, and at a minimum, devote time to these activities:

Listening: What was your spouse's day like? What was the best part of their day? What were their struggles – what was the " big rock" of their day? Also recognize if things were difficult for them, and they really don't want to talk about it – maybe there something else you can do right now to help them? Ask how can you best serve them, and then listen to the answer? It’s better to ask than assume.

Talking: Good conversation is the lubricant of marriage! If you're the kind of person that doesn't talk much, consider cultivating communication for your spouse's benefit. First, don't expect your spouse to read your mind and second, try not to interrupt!

Proverbs 18:2 tells us:

“A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”

When you interrupt, people can lose their train of thought and it can be very annoying – so I’ve been told directly.

Praying Out Loud Together: Communication reveals the mind and our thoughts to one another, but prayer unveils the heart, and ultimately the soul.

It is the experience of being in the inner sanctum when your spouse is in communion with God. And you get to share in that! This doesn't happen overnight, especially if you haven't been praying together previously -  but this is the goal, and it is very achievable with practice! Start praying together and watch the Lord bless your marriage, because of your active inclusion with Him at the center!

Encouraging: Marriage is a team sport! Be the person your spouse can't wait to see, can't wait to be with, can't wait to talk to, and always trusts to be honest with them! Be on their side, even if they do something wrong – maybe most especially if they do something wrong! God extends grace and mercy to us; we certainly need to follow suit with our spouses. You must accept that they, like you, are imperfect and will inevitably sin. In Ephesians 4:2-3 we are given a beautiful picture of how to encourage someone after they have made a mistake,

“with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

We are called to walk together, recognizing that each will sin, but working together toward godliness.

“speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.”

We can recognize that neither partner is perfect while working together to grow in our relationship with Christ. There is a difference between accepting your spouse as a sinner and allowing them to remain in active sin.

Be graceful as you encourage them to “live a life worthy of the calling you have received” as part of the body of Christ. (Ephesians 4:1).

Playing: Yes, having fun! If you're not having fun in your marriage, get with the program! Plan date nights, play board games or listen to music, go for walks or tell jokes! Having a heart that is open to “playing” yields great joy! Simply watch children, the experts of play! They have perfected the art of joy, naturally, as you likely once did in the beginning of your relationship with your spouse or as a child yourself.

The above ideas can help with creating peace in a marriage. Every marriage is unique, so be attentive and focused on what is, and is not, working in your marriage!

Pray, Play, Listen, Encourage, Talk and see how God draws you together! Put God at the center of your marriage and watch what happens!

If you are looking for some tools or ideas on how to improve and work on your marriage, be sure to watch for upcoming Marriage Matters workshops!

I wasn’t going to attend church this past Sunday. My back pain doesn’t respond well to medication and I hurt a lot. But I wanted to talk to a few people and see if work needed to be done in the food pantry. So I went to church anyway.

As I walked through the Fellowship Hall, a woman called out to me, “Did you find the gift card I left in the food pantry?” No, I’d forgotten all about it. But it could be useful.

And then…a food donation of a case of peanut butter came in!

Then, I was informed of a family needing food and gas: right now; they were waiting. They hadn’t eaten in two days; were homeless and traveling out of state. Aha! The gift card would provide both extra food and gasoline. We could help them with what they needed at just the time they needed it.

What you can clearly see in this story is God's provision. What I haven't shared with you yet is God's perfect timing!

Let's start with the story of the gift card. Before Christmas, I wanted to help a neighbor who had lost her job. She is gluten free and vegan, making it difficult to find foods she can eat. The gift card idea was suggested by a church member as a possible solution. We made arrangements to meet in order for me to pick up the card. But I was late, didn’t have her phone number and missed the connection.

Sometime later in the week, she called me; said she’d drop the card off at church on Thursday. Neither of us remembered that the church wasn’t open on Thursday. Otherwise, I could have met her at church with a key. Another missed connection!

She offered to mail it to me; I suggested just leaving it in the food pantry somewhere. It made me sad and frustrated that I hadn’t been able to give the card to my neighbor for Christmas, as a witness to her of Christ’s love through our church.

Then a week later this family came and the card was there! Perhaps those weren’t missed connections after all! God knew a more profound need would present itself and provided for it…

If you are interested in serving at the Food Pantry or if you are in need of something through the Food Pantry please contact Barbara Fall, MCC's Food Pantry Coordinator.

It’s over. I missed it again. Not a single personal Christmas card went out in the mail by my hand. Yet beautiful cards came to me from friends and family; those dedicated people who never miss a year in getting out their Christmas mailings. How do they manage it? The twinges of guilt are at times overwhelming. One of these days, I think to myself; just maybe I will get it together. Do you sometimes feel this way? Perhaps for you it’s not about Christmas cards, but other tasks or goals that you never quite seem to achieve? You are not alone. Truly, we are not alone.

As we head into 2018, Care Net Pregnancy Center has chosen Isaiah 43:19 as its theme verse.

 “I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” (NRSV)  

This verse encourages us personally as we put behind all of the unfinished business of 2017 and anticipate the “new things” that God will have for us in 2018. We can look forward to opportunities with young men and women who are facing unplanned pregnancies. Our goal is to help them understand the provision that God has given to bring them out of their spiritual wasteland; the hope of eternal life and a personal relationship with Jesus.

He becomes their “river in the desert.”

First, thank you. Just last year you assisted Care Net in giving HOPE to over 640 women in the face of uncertainty! We were blessed as our year ended strong, thanks to your continued support.

As we head into 2018, it is our prayer that each one of you will perceive the things that God is doing, in your own lives and through CareNet.

We ask that you keep the Care Net clients, board, center locations, center directors and staff in your prayers often. If Care Net may serve you in any way in 2018, please call 505-880-8373.

It’s that time of year again. People are setting the New Year’s resolutions or goals that they want to achieve this coming year. 

Perhaps you want to improve your health, fitness or a relationship you are in. Maybe you want to get those finances under control. There is a Biblical reason and way to do that! 

Here are a few helpful tips that may be useful in the financial arena.

1. Rediscover your pay stub. Look at every category to make sure that everything is correct. You’d be surprised how many times you can find an error!
2. It’s almost tax time again. While your doing your taxes, this year make sure that you are not overpaying each month.  Getting a big tax refund is not a creative way to have a vacation fund, it’s just an interest free loan to Uncle Sam. Increasing your deductions can allow you to have more money each paycheck to put towards your goals.
3. Get your kids involved. If you have middle/high school aged kids get them involved in how the household finances are run, so that they can learn now and apply what they learn later in life.
4. Define Savings Correctly. I think most Americans believe that savings is how much you save when you buy something. Well, that’s just marketing.  Perhaps some actually do put cash into a savings account, but it comes out at the end of the month to cover all the over spending. Savings is actually money you put into an account and it stays there for a specific purpose.  In the last 3 years the personal savings rate has dropped from 6% to less than 3%.

Be more than average.

If you want any help with these tips or other financial resolutions please consider our upcoming Living Debt Free Workshop on February 24th from 9 AM to 3 PM.   If that class does not work for you, please consider taking our short survey (just a few questions!) below on one of the other classes offered through Mountain Christian Church.

MCC Financial Stewardship Survey:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/Y9SCFDN

I’d like to ask you a question. Would you say that your life is mostly characterized by scarcity or abundance? 

Go ahead.  Look away from this text, look around, think about it, and answer the question.

Now, how did you determine your answer?  Did your mind instinctively review your possessions?  Your bank account?  The things you go without?  The things you wish you could give your kids?  Your charitable contributions?

Or did you think about your fears?  Did you think about all of your contingency plans?  Your failsafes?  Your probiotics, vitamins and exercise regiment?  Your 401K? The plans you’ve made to ensure that you’ll never have to ask for help…never be indebted to anyone…never have to ask for anything…never be at the mercy of anyone?

I’ll tell you what doesn’t make sense: a kid in a nice restaurant who won’t order anything because she doesn’t want to be a burden to her parents.

“No it’s ok…I’ll go hungry.  I don’t want you to have to provide for me”. (Suffers hunger pangs all night and worries about how she will get her next meal all on her own).

Scarcity.

Do you live this way?  I do.

I’ll give you a small example.

One of the ministries at Mountain Christian Church with which I am privileged to serve is called Shine.  Through Shine, our church is partnered with A. Montoya Elementary.  The purpose of this partnership is for us to work out our calling as people who have been infinitely loved by loving those within the A. Montoya community.  As we do that, we work to bring relief to the suffering and build bridges between ourselves and our community.  We get to support the school in the many things the staff and PTA do to educate and invest in the students there.  One recent event we had the privilege of participating in was A. Montoya’s Fall Festival.  Almost as soon as I found out about this event, I encountered my own attitude of scarcity.

First, I had a tough time with the fact that I wasn’t going to be able to attend the festival myself.  I am the coordinator of this ministry, and as such, am the one with the most connections, knowledge, and comfort at the school.  The idea of sending my friends in to serve without me made me very uneasy.  How would they know where to go?  Who to talk to?  Where to set up?  Who would be there to introduce them to people?  They wouldn’t know anyone and would just have to figure it out alone!  Without ME!  (I do see how ridiculous this is now, but at the time, these concerns seemed very valid).

Second, a brave friend of mine offered to run the cake walk at the festival.  We needed cakes to last for 2 hours of game play.  None of us was sure how many that would be, but we knew it would be A LOT.  The PTA president told us that in years past, they’d simply bought lots of cupcakes so that they could give one cupcake away with each cake walk round; because you know…otherwise, how would you have enough cakes to give away?  I was already nervous about that…about not having enough.  I ran this idea by my brave friend.

“Hmmm.  You know what?”, she said, “I’m hoping we can bless their socks off and do cakes.  I’m praying this morning for God to provide that.”

My brave friend lives with an attitude of abundance.  She must know of Someone who loves to provide.

We asked for cakes.

Let me tell you…I don’t know if anyone in the history of cake walks has ever sweated a cake walk so badly as I did.  For the next 2 weeks, I worried.  I apologized to my brave friend and the others who so generously stepped up to give their time at the festival for not being able to serve with them.  I felt guilty for asking them to be there, even though I wouldn’t be.  I came up with several plans on how to get more cakes to the school in the event that our church couldn’t provide enough.  I sent out announcements using every communication tool we have to attempt to get the word out that we needed cakes.

Scarcity.  As if it’s all up to me. As if I’m all alone.

I left on a trip with my husband, and prayed.  But my brave friend, she’d already prayed…long before I made my plans.  I prayed now, because there was nothing else I could do. 

As you see, an attitude of scarcity drives frantic action without guaranteed results.  “We need, we don’t have, we must act.”  By contrast, an attitude of abundance drives hope with joyful expectation.  “We need, He provides, we ask.” 

My brave friend didn’t show up at church at 7 a.m. the morning of the festival to see how many cakes she’d have to go out and buy.  She walked in an hour and a half before, just as she’d planned, and shed tears of joy at the abundance that she found.

75 cakes.  75 big, sugary cakes. That’s how many we had.

And some parents at A. Montoya…they brought more.  There were 92 cakes given away that night, the last one handed over at 7:00, the very last minute of the festival.  There were exactly enough cakes. 

God provided exactly what was needed; and He didn’t need any of my contingency plans, and He didn’t need us to lower our expectations.

What brings more joy to the parents of that kid in the restaurant…to see her enjoy their provision of a nice dinner for her, or to watch her starve herself? 

Friends…why do we starve ourselves and look frantically about us for fulfillment of our needs, when our Father is the giver of all good gifts?

My brave friend..I should really call her my faithful friend…and this cake walk have taught me something big about being thankful. 

If I insist on clinging to my attitude of scarcity, I rob myself of gifts my heavenly Father would be delighted to give me. 

I miss out on the relationship-building experience of coming to Him in my need and seeing Him provide. I become increasingly dependent upon myself, knowing full well my own inadequacy to provide for myself.  I choose anxiety over peace; fear over joy.

This month, as we ponder giving thanks, would you consider with me your attitude toward your Provider? 

Would you accept the challenge to pray first…to seek God’s provision first…before you fly into action? 

He is glorified when we rely on Him instead of on ourselves.  He is delighted to give, and is honored when our lives become a display of His goodness and generosity.  He is magnified when His provision becomes the source our daily joy and peace.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” - John 10:10