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Suffering seems to be a theme in my life lately. Not just going through it, but also learning and hearing perspectives on it. A couple weekends ago I was able to attend the Biblical Response to Mental Health conference and, not surprisingly, suffering was a significant theme throughout each of the topics. Then, as I’ve been reading through “Peacemaking Women” for my own personal study/growth, the various types of suffering filled the pages in the first section. Even if you didn’t get to attend the conference or aren’t reading the book, just looking around you as you go about your day shows a simple truth: we’re suffering. It’s a strong word that covers a broad variety (included would be grief, loneliness, anxiety, depression, etc.), but it’s a definite theme in our lives.

                So, amidst all this suffering, how in the world do we handle it? During the times it becomes unbearable and the times when it’s labeled as ‘a normal stress in life’? The natural response we’ve learned to give is “together, of course!” Except, how many times do we say but not do? To take a step further, how many times do we jump at the chance to serve someone, to be there by their side during a hardship and then refuse help or don’t ask for any when our own needs arise?

                We’ve tricked ourselves into thinking that simply saying “I’m doing alright!” or “I’m okay” to friends at church is a perfectly acceptable response to the usual “how are you doing?”. Yet I’ve been learning that I’m training myself to rely on me only to cover my needs. To point the finger back to myself, just last week I was suffering from immense physical pain, hobbling around as discreetly as possible because I was embarrassed to have been injured and hurting. Someone would notice, of course, and ask if I was alright. I simply waved them off with a smile and “Oh it’s just life!” A text from a friend afterwards reminded me that it is perfectly ok to share my needs. In fact, looking back, it’s really ridiculous the way I was feeling about it. You may have even laughed or given a ‘what?!’ face to your computer screen as you read this. The fact remains, however, that it is what I felt in the moment. How many of us do that, though? How many times do we try to hide our suffering- be it physical, spiritual, emotional- from the rest of the world? We’ve heard it spoken from the topic of not letting pride get in the way- and that’s perfectly true- but I ask, how many of us do it out of a sense of not wanting to become a burden to others. Maybe especially if we already know that that friend that is asking us is suffering from their own personal things? I know I’d raise my hand on that one. I hate the idea of being a burden to someone else. Yet I never, ever think others are being a burden to me when they ask me for something. Instead, I am honored that they would include me in this detail of their life. So why don’t I do the same back to them?

"Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ." Galations 6:2

                Going back to the right response of suffering together, I’ve realized that I really don’t suffer with anyone. Not truly. I may sit with them during lunch and listen to the stress of their life, or hold their hand during a grandparent’s funeral, or hug them in silence as they cry on my shoulder, but that doesn’t quite count as suffering with.

                In the Peacemaking Woman book, Tara (one of the authors) shared about a time that she had suffered next to a neighbor. The two were in polar opposite seasons of their lives; Tara was a mom all alone with a toddler and a newborn trying to care for them and keep her sanity, her neighbor was a mom of three with her own mother just ten minutes down the road who was always available to help. Tara’s husband was struggling with his job and making ends meet, her neighbors were flourishing financially with the husband’s new promotion and about to buy a beautiful house. Tara shared that her heart grew bitter during this season, knowing her own suffering and her neighbor’s joy. Yet within that same year, their roles suddenly swapped. Tara’s husband got a new job that put them in a better financial situation, her mother came to live with them to be helpful, and she had finally found her rhythm in her season of motherhood. Her neighbor, however, was now truly suffering as her husband lost his job, her mother passed away suddenly, and her baby was constantly fussy with colic. As Tara stood by the casket of her neighbor’s mother, she suddenly realized that her bitterness in the past had destroyed the chance her current-self had from being able to suffer with her neighbor.

"This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater lover has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." John 15:12-13

                Although she was dealing with bitterness, not a fear of being a burden to others, the situation still applies the same.  When we deny others from being a part of our burdens and sharing our suffering, we deny ourselves the chance at a future of being there for them in their turn. I speak mostly to myself as this is something God has been working on in me lately. Be it pride, not wanting to be a burden, or bitterness/envy that keeps me from allowing others in to see my hurts and pains and to be there with me, the point is that it’s keeping me from true and harmonious fellowship with others. Because no matter how open I am to bearing other’s burdens and being there for them when they need me, if they never get to do the same for me they will eventually start to feel guilty for always being the one that needs something and soon they may not even come to me anymore.

                So when we say we need to bear each other’s burdens and suffer together, sometimes that means you’re the one on the other end of the suffering stick. Maybe it’s time for you to ask for help- even if it’s simply reaching out on a Sunday afternoon and, instead of saying “I’m fine”, be honest and say “Things are hard right now, but I know you need to get to service… can we grab coffee this week and talk?”

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17

                Today I got to witness the most beautiful form of community within the sisterhood at church. We got to pray over a beloved friend as a prayer quilt was given to her. The quilt had been made by a group of women in the church from Sisters in Stitches and had been prayed over multiple times. This woman allowed all of us, even ones she may not know very well personally but will know eternally, into her personal life to share in her suffering. To love on her, to pray over her, to be there for her. And I plan to practice my own words the next time one of those women ask me, “How are you doing today, Sarah?” by being honest- even if it must be brief- and allow them to share my burden with me.

Can we sit down and be real for a minute?  Great.  I’ll go first.

Confession: I have road rage.

And not just run-of-the-mill anger at bad drivers.  Oh no.  It’s far more unsettling than that.

I’m angry at slow drivers for being in my way.  Or you know - just for being on the road AT ALL.

I’m angry at fast drivers for risking the lives of everyone around them.

I’m angry at the people driving the same speed as me because I can’t figure out how to pass them.

Do you see this?  I’m mad at all the drivers on the road.  ALL of them.

My friends tell me they always see me on the road and wave to me, but I never notice them.

One friend told me that she and her husband were driving right next to me, waving and honking, and I didn’t ever see them.  She said I looked very, very mad.

Do you know what, Kellie? I was.

But I didn’t know it at the time.  This is a relatively new revelation for me.  My kids laughed at me last week when I said out loud (to someone I don’t even know, mind you) “You are literally ruining everything”.  Why?  Because they had the audacity to drive super slow in front of me while I was in a massive hurry to park downtown.

“Mama, are they really ruining everything?” Andy asked through his laughter.

I’m sure I snapped back with a “YES”.

Yeah, I thought about the example I was setting.  And I thought about how the words I say at the breakfast table with our Bible open don’t really line up with the words I say about the people driving in my general vicinity. 

I felt bad for a minute and decided (again) that I should probably keep my comments to myself.

"Praise God for difficulties and distresses and weaknesses that bring us to our knees in defeat!  Praise God that His grace is sufficient to conquer everything in my life that shouldn’t be there and to make my life something that displays His own power!" 

I hope you are having a good laugh at my expense.  I deserve it.  But guess what?  It gets even worse…

This morning, my boys and I read a devotion that was based on Philippians 4:13.  As you may know, this is the oft quoted “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” verse.  It’s a good one.

“Hey guys,” I said, “Does this mean that if you believe hard enough, Jesus will strengthen you to be able to pick up boulders like the Incredible Hulk?”

Ha ha.

We talked about what it really means….that whether we are poor or not, whether we are hungry or not, whether we are in a good place or not…in every circumstance, we have a choice.

We can do the things alone, through our puny and ineffective effort.

Or we can do them through Jesus…through the strength that conquered death.

We can wash dishes through Jesus who strengthens us. We take a test through Jesus who strengthens us. We can comfort someone through Jesus who strengthens us. We can build spreadsheets through Jesus who strengthens us.

We can do ALL THINGS through Jesus who strengthens us.

So, “Boys?” I said confidently, “Today, Mama’s going to drive through Jesus who strengthens me!”  They weren’t that impressed.  But I was impressed with my own resolve, to tell you the truth.

It was the worst day of driving EVER!  I lost count of the times I clenched my teeth, audibly growled, or just simply tensed up every muscle in my body in absolute rage against people I’ve never met today!  And I guess this is what worries me…I really can’t stop this on my own. My rage-driving has become an actual habit that I can’t stop.

Alright…so I’m in a different posture tonight than I was this morning. Today was embarrassing, eye-opening, and humbling. The truth is that my ridiculous anger while driving stems from deep selfishness.

I really must believe that I deserve to drive on roads that are free of obstacles, at whatever speed I want to travel, without red lights or stop signs or people.

And you’ve probably guessed that I tend to take this attitude into much of my life. 

“I deserve a life free of surprises (the bad ones), obstacles, or inconveniences or people who make life hard.”  That is what I really believe. 

And it’s a lie.

Paul, the writer of the letter to the Philippians, learned contentment in want and in prosperity because to him, to live was Christ.  His very life was not “Paul”…Paul’s schedule, Paul’s preferences, Paul’s talents, Paul’s self-fulfillment.  His every pursuit, his every thought, his very life, was Jesus.

If my life was Jesus, my thoughts while driving (and actually, through most of my day) would be very different. 

The good news is that none of this is a surprise to Him.  And my abject failure to get myself under control as I drive to the ball field is a great invitation from God to come near and get more of Him…to be transformed by the renewing of my mind; to see more of that old self die off and the inner man grow stronger. 

“Therefore we do not lose heart; but indeed if our outward man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.”

- 2 Corinthians 4:16

Oh praise God for His patience with me!  Praise God for difficulties and distresses and weaknesses that bring us to our knees in defeat!  Praise God that His grace is sufficient to conquer everything in my life that shouldn’t be there and to make my life something that displays His own power!  (See 2 Corinthians 12:9 - 10). “When I am weak, then I am strong!"

HWJD? (How Would Jesus Drive)

Yeah - I don’t know.  I’ve got a long road ahead to find out (pun totally intended).  But my final praise here is that it is God who will finish the work He started in me (Philippians 1:6).  He will do it.  My job is simply to seek Him in earnest, as Paul did.

Ok.  Your turn.

What is that one habit, that one thing, that one obstacle that pushes your buttons? Will you lay it at Christ’s feet?

During Women’s Bible study, at our first small group meeting of the year, our leader asked that we each share a little bit about ourselves. Oh boy….an ice breaker, everyone’s favorite. Ladies started with basic information about children, spouses, places they had lived, how long they’d attended this study and where they went to church. We quickly made connections of which states we’d lived in (Texas is well represented in our small group!), having the same number of children, etc. Then something special, something unplanned and holy-spirit led, happened: we started sharing our testimonies.

Something that began as a basic introduction soon became intimate. Acquaintances became confidantes. Memories from when we had struggled or been hurt, been encouraged and drawn to our Savior were shared. We nodded in understanding, laughed with each other, and stood in awe of the ways God had pursued each of us. The commonality among each story was that none of our stories represented lives lived solo…..in every story SOMEONE had prayed for us or spoken encouragement into our lives, SOMEONE had come alongside and invited us to church, SOMEONE shared the gospel, their testimony or their faith with us. Every. Single. Time!

In 1Peter 3:15 we are reminded,

“You must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it.”

In my Bible study that morning, these women lived that, what an example!

As I look back on my life I am awed by the number of people God set in my path….some for years and others only for a season. A childhood friend’s mother who wrote me letters sharing the gospel when I was a non-believer, a neighbor who shared God’s word with me when I would call and ask for advice, women who kept showing up and praying over me and my family. Although their words were important, their PRESENCE was life-changing.  

"It’s impossible to change someone’s past experiences

about religion and church

but it is entirely possible to share your testimony

of who Jesus is and how He has transformed your life."

You see, life is not meant to be lived solo. In Pastor Frank’s sermon a few weeks ago he said, “We are designed to be in community.” Do you wonder what that looks like? He continued, “We should be asking ‘Are you struggling? Can I help you? We should be willing to say ‘I will commit to walking with you, to walking thru this with you.’ To be the one who says, ‘Yes, I will join that group and be in community.’”

I wonder if most of the people who changed our lives that we shared about on Wednesday even know the impact they had; they were Sunday school teachers, neighbors, friends, parents of friends and more. It made me wonder, “Jodi, how are you showing up for the people around you? Are you ready to share your testimony and why do you hold back?”

Be encouraged to show up in people’s lives in a real and tangible way. It’s impossible to change someone’s past experiences about religion and church but it is entirely possible to share your testimony of who Jesus is and how He has transformed your life.

MCC has so many opportunities for discipleship, fellowship and community and we would love to help you get started whether it’s in a community group, Bible study or serving with a local ministry or international missions.  

I bumped into him most Sundays after service ended. We shared thoughts about the sermon, poked fun at each other, talked about the weather, and marveled at how awesome our wives are. He wasn’t interested in football, so the Cowboys never came up in our conversations. After repeating this pattern for several months, I still didn’t know much more about him. We were still acquaintances.

We attended church together; we worshiped together, but… were we really connected?

In Acts 2, the Holy Spirit comes to believers, Peter teaches the crowds, and 3,000 were baptized.  Afterwards, in verse 2:42, the Bible says

“They devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.”

Verse 46 says they would meet together every day. As believers, they wanted to spend time together and recognized the value of fellowship. They knew that they wanted to learn together and to grow together.  Reminds me of a popular phrase today: They wanted to live life together. Like a family, full of brothers and sisters.

A few years ago, I sat down next to him at the Church picnic.  He had a nice spot under a tree. As we were greeting each other, a kid walked up with a leash. On the end of that leash was either a small horse or a HUGE dog. The kid handed the leash to him and ran off. I had no idea that he had a pet, let alone a beast like that. 

That afternoon, I learned about his life, choices he made as a father and grandfather, and the reason he always has a small horse for a dog. We shared the stories of how we became believers and how we saw the Holy Spirit working in our lives. We spent an hour together that day and we connected enough to know that it wasn’t enough.

Sunday mornings are great for us to worship together as a body, but not enough for us to grow together. Or live life together. My friend and I enjoyed worshipping together, but it was when we spent time together, at the church picnic, and later in a fellowship group, that we really grew together. Later, when his wife was struggling with her health, he called so we could pray together. And when the horse/dog was lost, we looked late into the night – together.

My friend is no longer here, but his imprint on my life has not left.  It was not enough to only see him on Sunday mornings. In order to go deeper, we had to have time together.  I am so thankful for opportunities to build relationships, to build fellowship and the gift of his friendship. I am thankful for our time at the church picnic and meals we shared in fellowship groups.

The church picnic is coming up soon.

The annual MCC Family Picnic on Sunday, October 6th, from 1:00-4:00pm. Bring your food, drinks, blanket or chairs, and lawn games and spend an afternoon with your church family at Embudo Hills Park.

Who will you get to know better?

Who will you build a connection with?

I would encourage you to plan to attend, to spend time with someone new, dig deeper, and take that next step to living life together. Hope to see you there!

We rejoice as God answers our prayers!

I was taught to sew and embroider at a young age. Both my mother, and her mother (my Nana) took the time to teach and encourage me. I observed Mom and Nana sewing or embroidering and then giving the item away. I felt the love they put into the works of their hands and observed the joy of those who received and that memory accompanies me to this day. And so, it is my desire to pass on this love and encouragement to others. By the grace of God, other ladies at Mountain Christian Church share the same heart and Sister in Stitches was born and continues to grow.

In Fall 2017, at the begining of the Sisters in Stitches (SIS) ministry, we envisioned a three-fold ministry within MCC. First, a ministry to make prayer quilts. Second, we desired to mentor young people to sew with the purpose of learning to use their time and talents to make usable items to bless others and thus glorify God. Thirdly, SIS wanted to have fellowship and grow in the grace of the Lord as we quilted and prayed together. The goal and heart-felt prayer of SIS is first to honor God with the works of our hands and seek His will. By God's grace, Sisters in Stitches and Kids in Stitches (KIS) continues to grow just like a quilt.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.   ~2 Corinthians 1:3-4

In God’s perfect timing, the part of our ministry that first flourished was teaching young people to sew. Our desire is to teach them skills and enthusiasm to sew on their own. At first, just learning to use a sewing machine was an accomplishment! But as the kids continue to learn and grow with each KIS Workshop, learning skills that are built upon in the next workshop, we are so encouraged, as are the kids, that they are becoming more proficient.

And even sweeter than seeing new skills mastered, as we sew we continue to encourage the kids to pray and share ways we all can bless others with the work of our hands.

Another goal of SIS to make prayer quilts. The idea behind these quilts is simple, yet powerful. As we stitch these quilts, we pray for the recipient and encourage the kids to do the same. If we don't know who the quilt is going to, we still pray, trusting God already knows. At our next workshop in October, each KIS will make a nine-patch quilt block and then we will sew all the blocks from each KIS together to make a prayer quilt.

As we continue to turn the direction of this ministry over to the Lord, we praise him for bringing our prayers to fruition. If you have interest in SIS or KIS please contact Davra Clayton.