Before writing this blog post, I asked 30 adoptive families how we can do better as a church with two simple questions:
“How did the church hold you up and how did the church fail you?”
This is a summary of their answers and some ideas on how you can serve families in difficult situations.
Validation and acceptance for the journey:
Don’t just look at the outside and think you know what may be happening inside. Know that children from hard places have struggles that make them often appear sweet and charming in public, but behind closed doors it is another story altogether. Accept that the people you knew haven’t changed; but rather that they are struggling in ways you can’t even imagine.
Yes, even years into the adoption. There are no words to describe how completely and utterly worn-out parents become battling day in and day out, as they try to break through to love a child with an attachment disorder. Secondary trauma (the trauma the family faces because of the child’s struggles) can cause severe brain fog and pure exhaustion.
Please stay in contact:
Raising a child from a hard place, especially one with an attachment disorder, isolates a family. A child from a hard place will work to isolate a family, demanding it with behaviors. This need will continue even if a child is removed from the home. Either way, empathy for the journey is paramount.
Help with Childcare:
There are no words for what a drain parenting a child from a hard place can be, a child with an attachment disorder. Parents need a break every now and then.
In closing, this is such a complex subject that I could write for ages, and still not cover all the ways a family who has adopted a child from a hard place will need support. I hope this gives a glimpse into the ongoing needs of those in this hard ministry.
Sadly, the foster care system is FULL of children with attachment disorders. Our family’s experience is not an isolated event.
Perhaps you don’t know a family who is raising a child with an attachment disorder. But it’s likely that you know a family raising a child with ADHD, Autism, severe anxiety, or a developmental disorder; the same suggestions can be applied to any of these families.
As I look back on this experience, I hold fast to the fact that as believers, we are precious and dearly loved by our Lord as He patiently sanctifies us.
We all have difficult behaviors. As Christians, we must step into hard places; for those places are where the Lord meets us and grows us to be more like Him.
Surrendering to the hard things brings glory to God and is an act of worship.
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Men’s Bible Study Fellowship starts THIS Tuesday, September 10 at 6:30pm in the MCC Library. This year they will be studying “Acts and Letters of the Apostles”. BSF provides an in-depth, international Bible study that helps people know God and equips them to effectively serve the Church. Contact Tom Young.
Women’s Community Bible Study begins this week; September 10th and 11th! The evening group meets Tuesdays at 6:30pm in the Fellowship Hall beginning September 10 and the morning group meets Wednesdays at 9:15am beginning September 11! Childcare is provided for the Wednesday study only. Contact Pam Cravens.
The Women’s Peacemaking Study is Thursdays at 10:00am in the Conference Room beginning September 19. This study offers a meaningful, lasting message to lead you out of conflict and into a state of peace where you can live as a representative of Christ to other women and unbelievers. Contact Christine Leggett.
MCC Elders are hosting a 4-week Foundations Class starting September 15. This class is designed to better help you get to know MCC - who we are, what we believe and why, and how to get connected. Please sign up with Sarah.
With winter coming the Wood Ministry is already getting calls requesting wood but we need men, women, and couples to serve as sponsors! For those interested in learning about Wood Ministry sponsorship, there is a training Saturday, October 12th at 9:00am in the conference room. We would love to share what it means to be a sponsor and how sponsorship through the wood ministry changes lives by helping people see their own value and build their own support systems by sharing our time and a few cords of wood. Contact Sarah at the church office.
"You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth.” Acts 1:8
Are you interested in being a witness for Christ in a remote part of the world? Have you wondered if a short-term mission trip is right for you? If so, join us for an informational meeting to discuss our Spring 2020 Bolivia Mission trip with Food for the Hungry next Sunday, September 8th after 2nd service in the Youth Hall. Contact Jennifer Ward.
Sisters in Stitches is meeting Wednesday, September 11 from 1:00 - 3:00 pm in the Fellowship Halll. All SIS and interested women are encouraged to join us to fellowship and discuss on-going plans for this ministry. Snacks will be provided. Contact Davra Clayton for more information and to RSVP .
ABQ Biblical Counseling is hosting "A Biblical Response to Mental Health Conference” September 13-15 at Desert Springs Church. Registrations will be accepted until September 12th! Visit abqbcc.com for more information.