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I vividly remember driving home from youth group with my friend Tristan one night in the spring of 2015. We were both eighteen, and about to move to Las Cruces to attend NMSU. Tristan and I had known each other since kindergarten, and had been through a lot together. We were both technically graduated and had been taking dual-credit college courses at CNM for a while, but our upcoming change of scenery was the real cliffhanger for us. I remember excited anticipation hanging in our conversation that night over the roar of Tristan’s Jeep as we both agreed that our lives would never be the same.

Today, there’s so much I would want to say to graduates about to take the same leap I did just a few years ago – a lot more than can be said concisely. So, graduates, for your reading convenience, here are a few quick(ish) pointers from someone just a few strides ahead of you:

• Use your freedom well… by remembering what “freedom” really means for you

After high school, no matter where you go or what you do, you will have more control over your life than ever before, and it will be tempting to remind yourself that you can make your own decisions (which you can and should), but therefore invest your time into whatever promises you the most pleasure and success. In other words, “follow your heart”. Guard yourself against this.

From Galatians 5,

“For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another” (v. 13)

It’s easy to gather from the second half of this verse that we should not use our freedom for selfish personal gain. However, the first half is just as critical, because it connects this to the argument Paul has made through the rest of Galatians – in short, that the definition of “freedom” for us as believers is freedom in Christ from our former way of life. We are free as children and ambassadors of God’s kingdom, and should therefore not follow our heart, because it is deceitful and sick (Jeremiah 17:9), but rather, “walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16). In other words, make decisions on how to use your time and effort based on the text of the Bible and leading of the Holy Spirit, and allow no other force to have greater leverage in your decision making.

• Keep good company

By “good” company, I mean strong, grounded believers, as your core group of friends, who will support you and keep you sharp (see Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). If you are moving away soon, I cannot stress enough the importance of IMMEDIATELY finding a new church home and becoming involved.

During my college years, I made the mistake of never becoming well rooted in a particular church, instead substituting it with my college ministry. I had a great community of friends in that ministry, grew a ton through it, and highly recommend it to anyone shipping off to a university soon. Having solid believing friends within my ministry got me through some incredibly tough times in those years. Nonetheless, what I did was risky, because as good as my ministry was, it cannot stand in for a church. I could have greatly benefited from the counsel of older, wiser men within the context of an organized local body of believers, not to mention wonderful families who probably would’ve loved to make me feel at home away from home had I given them a chance by actually showing up. Heed the words of Hebrews 10:24-25 by never neglecting your regular time together with other believers.

• Don’t be afraid to say “no”

In this chapter of life, there will be many people, organizations, and activities that demand your attention. Not all this stuff is eternal and worthy of pursuit, nor do you have unlimited bandwidth. So, nail down your single apex priority (loving and serving God while loving and serving people), and don’t hesitate to take the saw to branches that divert momentum away from this, because you WON’T be able to maintain both (see Matthew 6:24). This might mean losing friends (or never making certain friends to begin with). This might mean not studying all the time. This might mean missing out on what the world sees as “fun”, or opportunities to further what it refers to as “your future”.

Don’t hear me wrong – you should seek to do well in everything that you do:

“Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men…” (Colossians 3:23)

But, never forget Who you’re here for and the only thing that will give you a truly lasting return on your investment:

“…knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.” (Colossians 3:24)

I might add – also don’t be afraid to say “no” to yourself – to your pride, hesitancy, and fear. In short, my life would likely look very different today, in a very good way, had I not allowed these three vices to get in my way.

The handful of years following my high school graduation was a dramatic, growth-rich, transformative time of my life, but I can’t lie by saying it was easy. In fact, the worst bouts of emotional pain I have ever experienced, by a long shot, occurred between age 18 and 22. However, don’t let this scare you. Done with care, you can expect many great things coming your way.

Wherever you end up, graduates, always know that you are loved, prayed for, and always welcome back home. I’ll leave you with Paul’s confidence:

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 1:6

If you are feeling weary in this season, you are not alone. I see you. If you listened to Pastor Frank’s sermon last week you may remember he talked about what to do when you are done fighting the fight, when you are weary. A practical step to take is to refresh yourself with the truth of God’s word. This week I wanted to give you seven verses to refresh your soul.

1. Psalm 73:26

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

2. Proverbs 18:10

“The name of the Lord is a strong fortress; the godly run to him and are safe.”

3. Isaiah 40:29-31

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

4. 1 Peter 5:7

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

5. Psalm 23:1-4

“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

6. Zephaniah 3:17

“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”

7. Romans 8:38-39

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Click here to listen to Pastor Frank's Sermon from last Sunday, “A Land to Call Their Own” from Joshua 13-19.

Friends, we cannot wait until life is uncomplicated or less stressful to decide to choose joy. Life will always have complications and struggles. God has not promised life will be easy or that it will always make sense to us. God has promised that in His presence we will find joy. 

Here are 10 ways you can experience and choose joy TODAY regardless of your circumstances:

1. Choose to open your Bible. Reading the Bible nourishes your spirit and draws you closer to God. When have you ever opened your Bible and later thought, “I regret doing that, what a waste of time”?
2. Choose to take a walk in the woods. In Japan, scientists have taken hundreds of individuals on “forest walks” and measured a variety of bioindicators related to stress before and after. They’ve found that walks reduce cortisol levels, diminish sympathetic nerve activity, and decrease both blood pressure and heart rate. I do not think this is an accident but rather a gift from God!
3. Choose to pray. Pray about your lack of joy and ask God to help you to choose joy today! Pray for those who have hurt you, for those who annoy you, and for those who you love dearly! Praying reminds us who is in control and helps us take steps towards not only trusting God but also towards loving one another better.
4. Choose to give a family member or friend a hug. This is our modern version of the “holy kiss”. (Romans 16:16, 1 Thess. 5:26).
5. Choose to say thank you. A simple text to a friend or thank you note popped in the mail will not only brighten the recipient’s day but will also help you to focus on being thankful for those God has put into your life.
6. Choose to let go of other people’s expectations. I have recently gotten into the habit of reminding myself daily that today it is my job to please God, no one else.
7. Choose to immerse yourself in God’s word and take a break from social media. Multiple studies have shown links between social media and an increased risk for depression, anxiety, and loneliness. We often find ourselves entrapped in a cycle of comparison and feelings of inadequacy.
8. Choose gratitude. Choose to thank God for even the mundane things in your life.
9. Choose to live life in the present. We often find ourselves living for the next big thing; the next vacation, the next big purchase, the next exciting news and because our focus is on the future, we forget to be fully present in our lives right now! Choose to let this go and live in the current moment!
10. Choose Grace. We often forget to have grace for ourselves. No one is perfect except for Jesus, show yourself grace when you make a mistake.

Do you like to wait?

I didn’t think so…Did you know that statistics show the average person spends anywhere from 3-6 years of their life waiting? Six months of that is waiting on traffic lights! Just re-reading that sentence makes me feel tense! Patience is a fruit of the spirit, but none of us actually enjoys waiting. The problem many of us have isn’t the actual act of waiting but what happens in our hearts while we wait.

For me and many like me (you know, imperfect humans), waiting causes a downward spiral of frustration, impatience, selfishness, and anger. If this can happen to us while simply waiting in line at the grocery store or driving behind an impossibly slow car--- what is happening in our hearts when God makes us wait?

If you are anything like me, my heart has its ups and downs in seasons of waiting. One week I will be filled with patience and great expectation for what God is doing in my life, but the very next week I will begin to allow frustration and bitterness to take root and not unlike my toddler son, I will throw a fit.

Yet God, the Creator of the Universe, knows what it’s like to wait and He exhibits great patience with me, his restless daughter. Waiting, when done well becomes a time of great transformation.

Lamentations 3:25 states, “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.” 

Now I have a confession to make, as I write this I am in a season of waiting. As I woke this morning and uttered another frustrated prayer asking God for clear direction, it was almost audible in my heart as God gently rebuked me. “Jess, have you been waiting well in this season?” So here I am writing not from a place of expertise but a place of humble exploration. I hope as we are all so often found waiting that you will join me on the journey to learn to wait well.

A prayer while waiting:

Dear Heavenly Father,

You promise that those who wait on you will renew their strength. Please fulfill this in my life and empower me to run and not grow weary, to walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31). Lord help me not to fear or be dismayed as I wait. Help me to trust you to strengthen me, and hold me in your righteous right hand on my most difficult days. (Isaiah 41:10) My hope is in your Word, Father, and I eagerly anticipate your work in my life. (Psalm 130:5-6). Lord, you are good to those who wait and to the soul who seeks you. (Lamentations 3:25) I see your goodness in my life in the ways you have provided so abundantly for my physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Today I commit to look to you Lord and wait for the God of my salvation because I know you hear me. (Micah 7:7) Thank you Lord for hearing me when I pray and for the transforming work you are doing through my waiting. Amen.

“Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them” Deuteronomy 4:9 (NIV).

Hall of Fame football coach Vince Lombardi once said that winning wasn’t the main thing; it was the only thing. For those of us who name Jesus Christ as our lord and savior, His death, burial, resurrection, and return isn’t just the main thing; its the only thing. We cannot forget that fact.
Another fact we cannot forget is that God told us that we have a responsibility to teach our children and grandchildren in Deuteronomy 4:9. Pastor Doug Fannon pointed out that “The fact is, we are but one generation away from being a completely pagan nation. Each generation is responsible for reaching the next.” (Being a Bold Witness by Doug Fannon 11/11/2019, at www.sermoncentral.com)

We live in a culture that buries and distorts the only thing until it’s not even recognizable as the main thing. We have bunny rabbits, Easter baskets, colored eggs, chocolate, new clothes, spring fashions, and lots of other good things to occupy our attention. But without the only thing, we have nothing.

On Easter Sunday, we celebrate and commemorate the resurrection of Jesus Christ, and it’s up to us to make sure our children and grandchildren know that this is not just the main thing, it’s the only thing. Without it, nothing else matters.

My parents were very devout Catholics. They made a big deal out of the week before Easter. We waived palm branches and drew pictures of Jesus on a donkey on Palm Sunday; we commemorated the Last Supper by reenacting communion on Holy Thursday. I had this little statue of Jesus in my bedroom watching over me every night as I slept. I remember that on Good Friday, my mom would have me solemnly put Jesus in a shoebox and pack him away in a closet. She would tell me that Jesus died and was buried so that I would have my sins forgiven. Then, with great fanfare, we would liberate him from the shoebox and return him to his rightful place watching over me on Easter Sunday. Putting Jesus in a shoebox seems like a silly thing now, but after 60 years, I still remember that it was me and my sins that caused Jesus to die, and that it was God’s power and Jesus’s love for me that wouldn’t let him stay that way.

You don’t have to be an expert in anything; you just have to be faithful and willing to follow orders from headquarters (Deut 4:9).

God did not call you to be perfect; he called you to be faithful. He will be there to help you, as you teach your children well.